You know, you can Google “topless” and sort of drown by hundreds of pictures of women (and, I’m hoping, a few men) baring their nipples, if not more. There are plenty of sites online that show a lot more than that, plenty easy to reach videos of anonymous people acting a lot of raunchy stuff. This is not new. So why did my eyes, and hundreds of other people’s eyes, become wide with shock, why did so many mouths drop and expressions of disbelief uttered when we received a particular picture of a girl -topless?
Because this was a popular, pretty girl, from an important, top-ranking school, with a well-to-do economic situation. Because we all knew her.
It was fantastic gossip. Everyone, including myself, couldn’t stop talking about it. If there was no conversation topic with our friends, then, heck, why not, let’s talk about this girl’s topless pictures.
This was a few months ago, and we all thought that was that. We all knew that the girl suffered, and we all knew that it was hell for her, but it wasn’t our fault, so “all we could do” was feel sorry for her.
About a month ago, new gossip buzzed in our Whatsapps. Pictures of the mother of another very popular, well-known girl doing extremely pornographic flew through every Whatsapp group; every mouth had a juicy comment on the topic. We received diverse types of scandalous videos or photographs, every single one of them had an “ohyouwouldjustnotbelieveit” factor that made them, well, impossible to believe.
It seems like my world is going through a period of explosive exposed-ness.
Since then, it has been a constant bombarding of pornographic and semi-pornographic pictures of girls that we know. Or, not even. “I have a friend that knows her,” “I have a cousin in her school,” “I think I met her at a party once.” Any sort of distant relationship to the shamed girl in question made our lunch conversations so much more the interesting.
I realized it only a few weeks ago, so maybe I’m also equally to blame. I don’t care, I’ll take it, because I did something horrible. Not only by accepting to download those pictures and re-sending them. I think every time I gave my opinion, every time I voiced an “oh how dare she” I was commiting a crime, and so were all of those people that did the same exact thing.
Okay, fine, nobody recommends taking a picture of yourself naked and sending it to someone. But nobody recommends, say, McDonalds, and that doesn’t make a picture of you eating McDonalds a juicy piece of scandalous gossip.
I no longer give a shit what these girls decide to photograph. I no longer care to comment anything, except for an ocassional and very pointed, “why does it matter to you!” It makes me mad every time someone goes “I feel so sorry for her, what was going through her mind.” I want them all to STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.
I want them all to realize that what is hurting all of these girls is the fact that people talk about them, that they are looked at all the time, that people think they have some sort of privilege over them because they have not been in the sorry situation of having a compromising picture of them being filtered throughout the world.
And, above all, I want us fellow girls to take a stand and realize that this is never going to happen to a guy, and to realize that the really poisonous dissing is made by girls, and that this is just plain wrong. It’s hard for me to understand that we demand equal pay and equal opportunities when we smash each other’s confidence in the endless competition to be the one that has made the least mistakes.
And, girls, you might feel sorry for her or you might not, but re sending the picture, downloading it, even talking about it, only make of you a worse person, a bad feminist, and a bad peer. I stand for the fact that she didn’t do anything wrong by taking a naked picture; you do it every time that you make destroy her life.
PS. This topic starts with stopping the dissing about naked pictures, and flies through every pathetic dissing you can make about a girl that just did something that you didn’t.