Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I try to avoid the depressive blog entries.
But today, my wintersome walk home after school finalized in a wonderful surprise. My house's gate was open.
I thought, how lovely.
I thought, how terrible is it that we live our lives behind locks, in a sort of chosen captivity, with the excuse of protection.
What are we afraid of, that's out there?
There are so many answers, really.
There is, for example, that the world that turns its back at me every time I glimpse out the window is grey, the trees are old, the sky is dying. There is no life.
There is, for example, the fact that I can't seem to do anything right. I can't seem to get it just good enough for school, or for my youth movement, or for my friends, or for my family. I'm a stranger everywhere, imperfect everywhere. This chipped wave which I'm surfing on will at some point crash on the oceans.
And I will drown.
But, for the meantime, my hope rests on the clock that keeps on tic tocking, and the minutes slowly drag me closer to the ominous spring... when the world will be alive and smiling again.
Help me, spring. Help.