Monday, September 29, 2014

Ah Yes Stupidity



Let me tell you why good grades don't define intelligence.

Because I get good grades, and because I am stupid.

I am stupid because I leave everything up to the last possible second and then I get irregular heart beats and can't think because I'm sleepy and then I can't sleep even if I've only slept four hours in the last two days, so I have to start drinking liquor and stealing Dad's sleeping pills, and pretending that I'm mortally stomack-sick so that I can skip school, when I'm only just nervous up to the diarreah bits and honestly it's all my fault.

Let's recapitulate

Sleeping pills.

The kind where, if you don't actually fall asleep, you know, you sort of get a very weird trip. Now, I've never done hard drugs but honestly they can't be weirder than this one.

Hallucinations, random thinking processes, doing things you'll regret, you've got the tidy party movie checklist.

And that part about doing things you'll regret takes you to Chatroulette and then you take off your clothes and next thing you know you're masturbating to a stranger from California doing so to you.

But seriously what the fuck was I doing.

And now the thought of my pictures getting on a porn page haunt me, and what's worse, it might haunt me for, say, eight years and just when I thought the thing couldn't possibly happen now, bam, everybody has pictures of me jacking off.

The part I hate the most is that one where I really always defended girls who took naked pictures and shit, they had all the right to do so, the people who sucked were those who shared and those who forwarded.

And even so, I hate myself for doing something so stupid and now I'm all scared and thinking about the multiple ways I should just enjoy the moment now that people haven't seen how abnormally huge my clitoris is.

But I can't because I've got an IB Diploma to finish.

Oh I wish I had made this story up.

1 comment:

  1. Shit happens and you can't undo it - move on. Sorry to sound preachy but you really need to stay of the sleeping pills as they'll fuck you up just as bad as any other drug. I used to get really bad headaches due to work pressure and started taking my grandmothers really strong (now banned) painkillers; max dose was 2 every 2 hours for no longer than 3 days. I took 3 every 3 hours for I have no fucking idea how long and had dreams so vivid and reality so hazy I had no idea which was which. And the pain just got worse until I stopped taking them - then I discovered my digestive system was fucked. BTW I haven't found any pictures of your bits on the web yet. xx

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