|With the philosophy teacher I was not so secretly in love with.|
I wish I'd written more in the past few days, not only because the school-graduation transition is one that you only live once (yolo in the bad sense), but also because there's been a whole lot of need for it. The past few weeks -the ones after graduating- have seen me go in a downwards spiral into depression and egotism. I have nothing to do, no idea where my friends are, and just generally lost in a cloud of fear and pessimism. In six more days, (as this is how my country's educational system works) I shall have to choose exactly what the fuck I want to study, and all I know is that I'm scared. I find myself too scared to choose Lit -which, as you might know, is what I've always wanted. So I might end up choosing Law, although I am fully aware that it will not make me happy.
And yet, I have 9 more days to submit the NYU application. I completed the IB, and therefore I can -however, I'm scared of that too. I'm scared of letting that ball run, and where that can lead me. In spite of how I just know that studying English Lit in NYU would make me happy as can be, but
at this point, I am not sure if what I want to choose is happiness.
Pictures of my prom outfit to compensate for all the whining: