Monday, December 22, 2014

G'bye School


With the philosophy teacher I was not so secretly in love with.

I wish I'd written more in the past few days, not only because the school-graduation transition is one that you only live once (yolo in the bad sense), but also because there's been a whole lot of need for it. The past few weeks -the ones after graduating- have seen me go in a downwards spiral into depression and egotism. I have nothing to do, no idea where my friends are, and just generally lost in a cloud of fear and pessimism. In six more days, (as this is how my country's educational system works) I shall have to choose exactly what the fuck I want to study, and all I know is that I'm scared. I find myself too scared to choose Lit -which, as you might know, is what I've always wanted. So I might end up choosing Law, although I am fully aware that it will not make me happy.

And yet, I have 9 more days to submit the NYU application. I completed the IB, and therefore I can -however, I'm scared of that too. I'm scared of letting that ball run, and where that can lead me. In spite of how I just know that studying English Lit in NYU would make me happy as can be, but

at this point, I am not sure if what I want to choose is happiness.

Pictures of my prom outfit to compensate for all the whining:




1 comment:

  1. You look sooo beautiful! Also I want to say to you: Try to get to NYU!!! Try to study what you want!!! DO IT!!! Even if you are scared right now, just think how sad you will be when you look back and you just like "WHY didnt I did what my heart wants?!" I know that I have probably zero rights to give you advices because I`m a 14 year old german student, struggeling with the question which courses I should take but PLEASE do what you want!!!!!!

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