|Starbucks, perhaps the ultimate symbol of privilege, and, at the same time, my guiltiest vice. Perhaps even more so than smoking.|
As regular readers of this little piece of Internet World might have been able to tell, I was born privileged. Furthermore, I was born privileged in a country were the stakes are highly, highly, HIGHLY against in you the lottery of being born privileged.
But I was lucky, and I have never had to worry about money. Never. I have had the fortune of travel, of a stable home, of money not being an impediment when I decide what and where to study.
I feel guilt. I did nothing to deserve so much comfort.
But as most people who have given privilege a thought will know, guilt scarcely ever helps. It might do so in the sense that you're conscious of it and with said consciousness, have a certain desire for things to be different. But unless you do anything active to change an unfair, unjust, segregating system, then guilt can help little.
I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to give back all that was given to me, and in the way I thought purest of them all -through education, and with children, the stockholders of humanity's future. I really, really, wanted to.
But I didn't choose to.
I was so embarrassed to tell you guys -as a matter of fact, I've told few friends. Most of them, in the end, have found out. It's hard to hide the fact that you're entering Law School in a few weeks.
What went wrong? Didn't I want to make this world a better place? Why, then, choose a career where some people really want to make a difference but seldom do? Where passionate and intelligent people are much more easily found than in an area, say, as education? (Especially in Chile, my poor old unfair country.)
I don't know. I just freaked out. I didn't want to be a "Literature Student" with the artsy fartsy connotation, and I felt so intimidated by failing at something that I really, really cared about. If I ever am able to trully pinpoint why I made this decision, you will know.
Honestly, I wish I could do slightly more than this random blathering that seems like me apologizing but really isn't.
Because, I promise, dear readers, if I was privileged, it will not have been in vain. I'm going to use all the facilities that life has granted me, to help. And I sincerely hope, that if you won the lottery as I did, you're gonna do so to.
Wish you the most sincere luck and, more importantly, perseverance,