Sunday, January 24, 2016

For the purest love of lists

      
Lists give Ana the illusion of efficiency, happyness, and control. Here are a number of lists that Ana and the readers of yours trully could enjoy elaborating:

1) To do
2) Things I‘m greatful for
3) People I love the most and can trust unconditionally
4) Memories that make me happy
5) What I love about my body
6) Things my dream home would have
7) How to be a better person
8) How to be an interesting person
9) How to make life interesting
10) 16 concrete things to do in 2016
11) 16 Abstract goals for 2016
12) Books to read before some pseudo intelectual asks me if I‘ve read it
13) Things I want to learn
14) Instruments I would love to play
15) Places where I can‘t die withot having had sex at
16) Bad habits that I must quit
17) Movies that I must watch before some pseudo intellectual asks me what I thought about them
18) How to be happy
19) How to make your mother happy
20) How to make this world a better place

Any suggestions or additions my beloved readers would care to make?


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Picnic Stories


August 2014.
My BFF's birthday was coming up, and so were a million due dates.

We were High School seniors
which entailed a "privilege" where we could leave school during lunch hour, 
on one condition: Our timely return to the next class.

I had a wonderful idea but a million due dates.



1) Skip class that day. Mom and Dad shouldn't know about this, so I woke up at the normal, heart-breaking hour of 6.30 am, put on my school uniform, but rode my bike to a nearby Starbucks instead of  the institution that expected me.
2) Breaking the rules is fun. Starbucks isn't, in spite of the muffins. Working on a History paper during the wee hours isn't either.
3) At 11 am, I rode my bike to a nearby supermarket. I bought frosting, muffins, lots of sweets and salts, a birthday crown, candles. 
4) At 11.30 am, I called the pizza parlor. They had a 2x1 deal but on the condition that I went to the store to get my cheese 'n' sauce covered bread.
5) At 12 pm, I was back home, frosting the muffins, puffing into balloons.
6) I wasn't there to give complete faith of it, but the story goes that five other friends kidnapped my friend June and brought her to my house on a friend's car. The story makes sense, as that was the plan I had so astutely connived. June was blindfolded and had no idea where she was going.
7) June arrived at my home. 
8) We sang happy birthday and ate lots of crap.
9) That night, we got shitfaced and all Friendshiplandia lived happily ever after.


The end.



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