Wednesday, June 12, 2013

It's Hard to be a Feminist

Me, dressed up as Rosie the Riveter for a costume party. Because I'm cool like that.

Has any feminist ever thought "my life would be so much easier if I weren't a feminist"? Has any of you considered how much energy it takes to fight close-minded men on their unfair judging of women, or holding back fellow girl friends from doing all that toxic gossiping that they enjoy, and harms, so much? How "unfeminine" it is to be a feminist, all the complicated decisions we have to make about our opinions on life, our actions in life, etcetera.

But I've also thought "my life would be so much easier if I didn't think too much."

"If I were a bird, and could just fly away..."

"If I didn't care so much about things..."

"If things didn't affect me so much."

Why do we decide to be feminists? Is it because we see the truth behind it all? The first time I stumbled upon Rookie's feminist articles, I did not actively think "hey, now I'm a feminist." The first time I pointed out to a male teacher that he was being misogynistic I didn't think "hey, now I'm a feminist."

Why the fuck do we do what we do?

If I'm not even sure about myself; I doubt I can answer for you.

But you know what? Gandhi's life would have been easier if he hadn't liberated the Indian people from British colonization. And Galileo Galilei didn't have to die at the stake. Che Guevara didn't exactly live an easy life.

I don't believe that we choose our ideals, but that our ideals choose us. Sometimes, a certain cause strikes as so just and true, that it seems folly not to defend it; it's an instinct in us. It's an instinct in so many of us to defend something abstract just because that something abstract chose us to defend it.

I read in The Myth of Sissyphus Camus's questioning of how people will gladly die for an ideal, but rarely live for it.

Perhaps it's very easy to die, and very hard to live?

There are many questions in life that remain unanswered, and I can't answer for the people who die for ideals and don't live for them. It's all very strange, really. The world is a strange place.

But what is it also?

It's also a place that's getting better and better every day. Now, what is "better" might be questionable depending on the individual, but I don't know. At least in my opinion, it's getting better.

For one, the internet has allowed us feminists to be viewers and characters of what I think is a wave of neo-feminism.

But we must always remember, that we didn't choose our ideals, they chose us. And because of this, sometimes our defense of them can be blind. That's were they bring us to trouble, were they drain us from so much energy. The trouble I have with ideals is that sometimes people seek their realization so fervently, that they can't see any other way. Politics are the best example of this. (Like, who cares if you're right wing or left wing. Just do what's good for your people.)

When ideals get blind, I think they just represent the stupidity of the person who is fighting for them. Or, in nicer words, if you're not able to think about new solutions outside of your ideal, then you are just being lazy and using your supposed ideal to escape the thinking process.

I don't know. Maybe this post was blathering, but then, it's hard not to blather about a world we quite don't understand.

Edited to add: Gosh, this post rambles a whole lot. A disgrace to the writer in me. Someday the day will come, and I will revisit this.

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