Thursday, April 21, 2016

How Crushes Shape Us

A couple of days ago, I downloaded Tinder. Not for the first time. When I had previously tried it out, it wasn't embarrasment or some old-fashioned ethic that made me fail at Tinder-ing, but the fact that I wasn't severe enough when it came to accepting potential flirtables.


Anyhow, I've lost many an hour of sleep over Tinder this past week, because it's just so much fun. Yet the first few hours were by far the most exhilerating, because, dear readers, I, Ana Ruiz, found the love of my life.

Or, sort of. At least I'm pretty infatuated, which is nice because Psychology majors tend to hang out with other vagina-ridden Psychology majors, and I miss my daily dose of penis attraction.

To the point: This guy's an architect, which, let's be honest, is oh so sexy. And this guy, in some sort of "I'm flirting with a stranger" maneuver is really emphatic about his work and sends me pictures of his diagrams and crap and I understand NOTHING.

Fast forward: Today I was flipping through a magazine, and an article about architecture showed up. I would generally never read something like this, in spite of the fact that I do aprecciate them pretty buildings and hate on them ugly ones, but now I was really intrigued and started reading. A few paragraphs in, I realized how ridiculous I was being, laughed, and turned the page. As Hamlet would say: What be this reading an article 'cuz a crush thing? To be or not to be pathetic, that is the question?

Truth: I am, up to a point, a mashup of all the interest my crushes have had. These past few months I've been really into philosophy because that's what the guy I dated last year digged. In eighth grade, I became a pubertal punkhead, listening to Metallica & Co, because that's what the guy I liked digged. In fourth grade (that is, eherm, ten years old), I became a fan of a soccer team that I would never have payed attention to where it not for the fact that it was my current crush's team. 

What the fuck.

Do I have no personality? Am I just a hole where my romantic interests deposit their current interests? AM I THAT OF A SUCKY FEMINIST?

Well, no. The music I've been the most passionate about, I started loving on my own (in spite of the fact that I did fall hopelessly in love with a guy that liked exactly the same music.) I've always been a bookworm, and there's a slight chance that I might find fellow bookworms to be a turn-off. Most certainly feminism was something that came from the contagiousness of Rookie, and my ideals were of my own making (and of the needs of the people and the proletariat and the revolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). 

But, honestly. Thank the beautiful Lord that I'm generally into interesting guys because I'm apparently prone to liking what they do, and it would suck an awful lot that I were induced into liking douchey shit like partying or whatever. Thankfully I'm into guys that like philosophy. (Please do note the irony.)

Over and out, much love to y'all,
Ana <3 div="">


  1. Hahaha I never thought of it this way before but you're so right. It's not even just crushes though - it's just people you want to be close to one day, people you think are awesome... and crushes too. Like, if I have a friend I think is really cool who likes some singer, I'll probably be more inclined to like that singer too. Sometimes i think I'm that person with no real interests, since I'm just feeding off everyone else. My opinions come from them, or some article I've read on some blog or Rookie. But then, maybe these thoughts and likes that make me me really are just a compilation of stuff from people I respect or have encountered, and that's okay, right?

    The Life of Little Me

    1. OMG I LOVED this comment. You ON IT, sister!! Many hearts for you <3 <3 <3


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